I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my body and my weight for a long time. Throughout all of elementary, middle, and high school I was the extremely tall, extremely skinny girl with absolutely no boobs and no bum. I always felt awkward, and others didn’t help my perception of my body. My high school boyfriend told me I had a beautiful face, but my body left something to be desired, and that hurt. I wasn’t a stranger to the gym, and never had been. I worked out everyday, took yoga classes, pilates classes, strip tease classes, and zumba classes, but nothing worked. I was still the skinny girl that other girls whispered about in the hallway. I was still that girl who had to constantly defend herself against eating disorder rumors with my family, friends, and people I didn’t even know. I’ve always had a fast metabolism, so it was difficult for me to put on weight.Then I got to college and got on birth control, and I finally started gaining weight (and boobs!!), but I wasn’t happy. At the end of my sophomore year I hit my highest weight and was so upset and miserable. I had no muscle definition, just flab. Over the summer, I made it my goal to lose weight and I did. I lost 15 pounds, and I was happy. Now in my junior year, I’ve managed to maintain the weight loss, but now I want to gain strength and definition. That’s what I’m working towards now. I still struggle with wanting to maintain my dainty frame, but then I just think back to how horrible I felt when people told me I wasn’t desirable, and how I looked too skinny. My ideal body for myself would be a strong, sexy, but lean body like those of the VS angels, and that’s what I’m currently working towards.
